now browsing by category
Everybody who has a dog calls him “Boy or Rover. I call mine “Sex”.
Now Sex had been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for
Sex. He said “me too”. Then I said “but this is a dog”. He said he didn’t care what she looked like, Then I said “you don’t understand, I’ve
had Sex sense I was nine years old”. He said, ” You must have been quite a kid”.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for me and my
wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, ” You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at
night”. The clerk said,”Me Too”.
One Day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just
standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. “But
you don’t understand”, I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on TV”. He called me a show- off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I sad, “Your honor, I had Sex before I was married”.
He “Me Too”. Then I told him that after I was Married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too”.
Last night, Sex Ran off again. I spent hours looking for him. A cop stopped me and asked me what I was doing in this alley at four in the
morning. I sad that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window…
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
“Do you know what I am doing?” asks the doctor?
“Yes, checking for abnormalities.” she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, “Do you know what I am doing now?”, she replies, “Yes, checking for cancer.”
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, “Do you know what I am doing now?”
She replies, “Yes, getting herpies – that’s why I am here!”
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.”
The lady asks, “How do I do it without surgery?”
“just rub toilet paper between them”
The lady asks, “How does that make them bigger?”
“I don’t know, but it worked for you ass.”
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”