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The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time
Support the Oatmeal…F*ck the Junk!
My friends at the Oatmeal.com are being threatened to be sued because, Funnyjunk.com stole their shit, and now they’re crying about it. Check out the article and the FunnyJunk letter on Oatmeal.com. Support the Oatmeal and F*ck the Junk…( I probably will get a letter now from them, but oh well.) Thanks Whiskybitches.
A Dog Named Sex
Everybody who has a dog calls him “Boy or Rover. I call mine “Sex”.
Now Sex had been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for
Sex. He said “me too”. Then I said “but this is a dog”. He said he didn’t care what she looked like, Then I said “you don’t understand, I’ve
had Sex sense I was nine years old”. He said, ” You must have been quite a kid”.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for me and my
wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, ” You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at
night”. The clerk said,”Me Too”.
One Day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just
standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. “But
you don’t understand”, I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on TV”. He called me a show- off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I sad, “Your honor, I had Sex before I was married”.
He “Me Too”. Then I told him that after I was Married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too”.
Last night, Sex Ran off again. I spent hours looking for him. A cop stopped me and asked me what I was doing in this alley at four in the
morning. I sad that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
Whiskey Caption Contest
I really need a caption for this pic, I am too drunk and stoned to think of anything.
Answer in the comments section, and you can win a free beer.
(Must live in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, or passing through.
Must be at the Pagosa Bar after 11:30 pm on a Tuesday, and I got cash in my pocket.)